2009 April 12 « Greymarq’s Antagonym

What IS your addiction ? Food, sex, money… Heroin, COCAINE, (powder or “stone”.) ? There is SOMEONE that “needs” any one of these, or a combination thereof, in any chrono-”logical” set of their period of use. We don’t really need any of these, they’re a “replacement”, something to fill in a space that we lost somewhere. Something that a “FAMILY”, [Riding an \"omnibus\" definition.], should, or may have provided, but due to circumstances, ( that I can’t, and won’t attempt to define.), haven’t “steeled ” the ‘addicted’ against the “behavior”.

In this world of “institutional” individuality, grown from the haves incessant mental, physical and SPIRITUAL beatings, the time of incubation has created the monsters named above. This is called imprinting, [We are what we\'ve et... mentally, physically and spiritually.], it’s frightening for those us who hadn’t come to the realization that all those “little incidences” that all those “well” meaning folks served upon our being might produce these stupid “desires”. This may be one of the catalysts that drive so many into a “GANG’” life style. [Questions pile up, answers dwindle.]

I have, just, recently found an answer to my constant battle with ALL things “individual”, some things “imprinted”, those things that have “prevented” me from enjoying a marriage, parenthood, and a “comfortable” future of my own home, grandchildren, and passing away to leave them all something that they truly NEED and can use for such NEED… Love, shelter, equity all built “on a rock”. I have been insubordinate to my better judgement instead.

As my friend has spoken to me, in earnest, about what he defines as FAMILY I, finally, came to a clarity of those things that I’d done to sabotage what “LIFE” I may have had, to this point. With that one grain of TRUTH I BELIEVE that the unnoticed “shroud” that I’ve carried, so “proudly”, around my shoulders can, now, be tossed aside.

Instead of all the UNNECESSARY “suicide” tools I’ve been toting from place to place, I do think, and believe, that the hope for TRUE RECOVERY is only an embrace, (To wrap my head AND heart around this.), away.

The sad thing is that there are so many of us that ARE family, but don’t realize the true power of having so many good people around us ,that we COULD CARE FOR, if we’d just see them AS someone close to us. Then ,I believe, that the addictive nature that, TOO MANY of us suffer, WOULD BE ERADICATED… if we just remember to be FAMILY.